I have made it through an entire month of having a newborn and a 15 month old! I am so glad I have a husband who’s present and helps as much as he does, and family and friends who are all willing to help! I don’t know how some moms do it all on their own. This is hard work!
The first day I spent an entire day alone with the two of them, when my husband got home I said “Love, I just made it through today with 2 kids all by myself”. I was seriously so proud. And all the moms who have been there, done that are probably like “just wait til you have 3” or “wait til they’re both over 2 years old”. 😅
I want to share my experiences from these past 4 weeks of being home alone with the kids when my husband is working. Being home with 2 kids and my husband around is one thing, being home with 2 kids alone is a TOTALLY different thing!
I hope this gives hope or courage or some lifting of the spirits to other moms out there! You 👏🏼 Can 👏🏼 Do 👏🏼 It 👏🏼
WEEK 1
My husband is self-employed so when it comes to paternal leave he pretty much decides what he wants to do. When we had Anastasya he stayed home a week. That was again the plan once Josh arrived.
What actually happened was that because Joshua arrived 1.5 weeks early, and there was a lot of stuff that had been set up that needed his attention, so he stayed home with me for about 1.5 weeks. During Anastasya’s naps he ran out and did some work. That was our reality and thankfully it worked out. I also had family members come and stay with me other times when he needed a few more hours at work.
Then when I officially spent a week with them home alone while he worked, that’s when it got hard. Hard for me would be: both kids needed things at the same time and I had to figure out what needs my attention first. When I was in the middle of doing something important and both kids were crying at the same time. I’m breastfeeding Josh, and when I’m in the middle of doing so I can’t get up and move around or else he’ll unlatch, but while feeding, Anastasya disappeared for a little cuz I left a door open and I go find her sitting amongst important papers that she pulled out of a drawer. I think each week brought on a new challenge.
WEEK 2
Being that Josh is 2 weeks old, he still doesn’t have a routine or schedule. He just cries demanding to be fed, changed, or put to sleep. It’s hard to tell what he’ll need at what time when you’re distracted from the time. There were times that he ate 1.5 hrs later, there were times he ate 3 hrs later. And just to be clear, he’s been waking up on his own. With Anastasya I had to wake her up or else she’d go 4 hrs without eating during the day (never at night time 🙄).
Either way, because I didn’t know how long I was getting, sometimes I would start feeding Anastasya lunch (for example) and he’d wake up halfway through me feeding her. Then I’d go get him, bounce him around a bit to get him to calm down while feeding her, get her out of her chair and then go feed him.
That happened a lot that week. I think the most frustrating one was trying to cook dinner and Anastasya wants to see what I’m doing so she would cry asking me to hold her, and then Josh woke up and he’s screaming wanting to eat. Now I’m walking back and forth between the stove and Josh trying to get him to grasp the pacifier, and also prying Anastasya off me cuz she keeps gripping my pants and pulling on them for me to hold her. 2 kids crying and screaming and food sitting on a hot stove that needed my attention was extremely difficult to deal with. To the point that it made me want to cry and pull my hair out.
That was the worst of it for week 2. Thankfully Josh is a really great baby. When he eats, he knocks right out. He sleeps like a rock. Nothing wakes him up, other than his belly when he’s hungry 😋 I learned that right before I go do something that’s going to take time that I make sure he’s fed so that I do get the time I need.
WEEK 3
This week’s challenge was that Anastasya woke up one morning and realized that this new kid that’s now sleeping in her parent’s room, eating off her mom, and taking away some of the attention from her that she used to get is not leaving any time soon… That morning was a tough one for us.
I changed her diaper, put her down to walk on her own and walked to my room to get Josh who was crying waiting to be fed. I told her to follow me and she did, but she did so crying. I grabbed Josh, walked to the couch still talking and calling Anastasya over. I sat on the couch where I always sit and Anastasya followed me to the couch still crying wanting me to hold her. I called her over and asked her to sit next to me, but she said no. I asked if she was ok. She wouldn’t answer. I would try to grab her to pull her close, she’d pull away. I needed to finish feeding Josh…
She literally cried the entire time staring at me feeding him. When I finished on one side, I burped him, put him down for a minute and held her. She stopped crying and cuddled with me, which is what she wanted. It broke my heart into a billion pieces.
I think that night I then too came to a realization. After having baby #2, I need to wait much longer than last time before having baby #3. I didn’t purposefully or intentionally get pregnant, but I was not being preventative either, so of course I should have expected nothing less. And I’m ok with that! I don’t regret anything. BUTTTTTTT… I do wish I could be enjoying these moments with Anastasya giving her all of my attention because she deserves it. But this is my reality. I’ve learned from it. I digress…
So this 3rd week I dealt a lot with Anastasya’s jealousy. There were times she wanted to smack Josh or smack me. I was firm with her but I also tried to be sympathetic. Whenever I was done doing what I needed to do with Josh, I tried cuddling with her, or play with her, or do whatever I could to give her the attention she needed that week. Thankfully it’s gone well and she’s been so much better. She’s been sweeter to Josh and she’s been a great big sister!
Week 4
This week has been ok. I think the hardest thing for me with all of this is that I’m really tired. I’m waking myself up when burping Josh cuz my head fell forward and it startled me. Mornings are really hard for me. I’m not a morning person whatsoever. Currently I wake up with Josh crying wanting to eat and Anastasya waking up at the same time… Or I’m halfway through feeding Josh when anastasya wakes up.
I’ve managed to feed Josh before Anastasya woke up once! My goal is to get to a place where I feed Josh before Anastasya wakes up and then go get her. I’m working on it. I have a hard time because I love my sleep. I end up putting Josh down and falling asleep again and then Josh is ready for his next feeding… I’m seriously working on it.
To make everything flow and easier for myself I need to get into a routine. One huge thing is me getting to bed early so I’m not as exhausted in the morning. Also, now that Josh is 6 weeks old and he’s getting more consistent with his feeding, pooping, and sleeping, it’ll be easier for me to fit my other responsibilities into the mix.
I hope you’re able to take away a lot from what I’ve experienced. Having a 15 month old and a newborn at the same time is definitely challenging, but extremely rewarding. I mean, other than the fact that I have 2 wonderful kids whom I love with every fiber of my being, getting to the end of a day with both kids alive, healthy, well, fed, showered and in bed makes me feel like I can do and accomplish ANYTHING! – More so than actually delivering the baby lol.
Raising a kid that’s not even 2 yet with a newborn is going to be challenging, and I knew that the day I found out I was pregnant. People would ask me how I felt about them being so close in age and if I was ready for it. I would always say that I’m honestly not even thinking about it and didn’t want to think about it. 1. because I wanted to focus on Anastasya as much as possible because I had little alone time with her left. And 2. now that I’m here, nothing would have prepared me for what I’m experiencing anyway.
I’ve done the baby thing before. 16 months ago to be exact! Doing it again is the easiest part of this. The hardest part is that I also have a toddler thrown into the mix and I’m actually still learning a lot from her. So we’ll see how the next month goes. I know that with routine and repetition of our days together, me and the kids will figure this thing out.
By the way, my favorite part of my day is when my husband gets home… I love having him here with me not just to give me a minute to breathe, but just because seeing him care for the 3 of us the way he does is my absolute favorite. Thank you, husband! 😘
Please let me know what your experiences have been and what you think of mine. Also, please subscribe to my blog by email in the sidebar. You’ll be notified of when I publish my next post!
